Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. I was this way for years and my goodness I refuse to go back to living that way. It’s supposed to be the easiest time in history to find a date, so why did I go home cold and lonely night after night. it didn’t matter if I tried tinder, bumble, or good old plain speaking. I couldn’t light anyones fire and I sure as hell didn’t learn anything about the birds and the bees. So I looked myself in the mirror and decided I had two choices; accept my destiny as a lonely man, or change my behavior to produce a new result. With these three simple changes I found myself getting more action than a mormon on his honeymoon.
Yeah it may not be the “manly” thing to do but you can’t deny that the men with the pretty woman on his arms is typically a man who pays attention to how he looks. The easiest way to spruce up your look is with a solid pair of shoes. They say you should not judge a book by it’s cover, but it is a fact that your appearance will play a huge role in your first impression. So you can write yourself off as a man who doesn’t care how he looks, but that’s just a one way street to having a woman (or man) not care about you. Think of what you wear as a preview to who you are as a person. Find the pieces that feel like you and wear them proudly. Again the right pair of shoes will bring some style to even the most mundane outfit. Your shoes should be functional, comfortable, but they should also tell us a little about you. Forest Gump knows what I’m talking about, he learned it from his mother “My Mama always said you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes, where they’re going, where they’ve been“. Your dirty discount sneakers are saying that you’re cheap, lazy, and unsanitary. The easiest way to find the right pair of shoes is this. think of someone you admire, someone you wouldn’t mind being for a day. Pay attention to the shoes they are wearing and follow their lead. Shoes are the punctuation of your outfit. make sure your sentence ends with . or ! and never a ?
Read a F&%*(@ Book!
Maybe your feeling a little intimidated by changing your look, well your number one saving grace when it comes to women is what you know. there is nothing more sexy than a man who knows what he’s talking about. Studies show that one of the deciding factors in a first date is whether or not you respect the person sitting across from you at dinner, the easiest way to gain a new woman’s respect is to show her that you’re intelligent. If I feel like I can learn something from someone then I instantly have respect for them, I don’t even need to like them, but I will still respect them. Make sure that the woman across from you knows that you can teach her something and perhaps even more important, that you can learn something. Do not under any circumstances allow yourself to become a notorious “Mansplain-er”. when you are expressing your knowledge do so in a way that assumes she knows exactly what you’re talking about. if she doesn’t she will let you know and ask further questions, allowing you a further opportunity to show your intelligence and passion on the subject. never forget to ask her a question in return, a date should never feel like a lecture. in order to get yourself in a place where you feel confident and intelligent you must follow this very simple rule. read a goddamned book. This will require more effort than most are willing to put in, but this is what will set you apart from the other men or even overcome your less-than good looks. Nearly 1/3 of high school graduates never read a full book again for the rest of their lives. don’t be another statistic, find a subject you’re interested in and read yourself a damn book.
In my experience the number one cause of my loneliness was due to fear. now that I think of it, fear has caused me a lot more than loneliness. I guess what I’m afraid of, perhaps you feel similarly, is that I’m going to fail and then I’ll feel bad or embarrassed about it. This goes for nearly every aspect of your life, but more than anything it applies to dating. Whether it’s asking a girl out or simply talking to her for the first time, it all requires you to get over your fear. It’s like getting a slap, it hurts for a moment but then it’s over. That’s the worst case scenario. And sometimes things do fail. It’s true, eventually you will make a move with a new girl and you will fall flat on your face. It’s okay, it’s going to be embarrassing, but it’s going to be okay. Learn to love the pain, bathe in it, embrace it. This will allow you the confidence to bring home the woman of your dreams and your new love for pain will bring out a whole new side of you in the bedroom. If you’re really having a hard time taking a chance think about this. we are small pale blue dot in a universe so vast and complex that we will never be able to comprehend it. And on that pale blue dot you are just a small invisible speck who for some god forsaken reason believes that his life matters. In a universal blink of an eye you will be dead and all those failed attempts at finding a date will no longer have an effect on you. Failure is not what haunts you, it’s the regret of allowing your fears to control you that keeps you miserably awake at night. So get a good night’s sleep tonight by doing that thing you’re afraid of.